Being a useless 'warrior'

You may have watched my stories today and learnt that I have hurt my arm and heard my huge number of violins playing as I lap up any attention I can get. Now this arm drama, would not have impeded me from attending my old job as an assistant headteacher – but maybe it should have? My hands are my sole way to make money now I am self-employed and the full realisation that if I don’t work, I can’t earn, hit today. I’ll be honest, I did spend 5 minutes today feeling sorry for myself as I haven’t been in this much pain since having Jackson (my two year old son)…(you’re probably thinking I’m a wimp, as I haven’t broken it but it is proper swollen and a bruise the size of a small aubergine up my arm AND the same colour PLUS I’ve bruised my leg, hip and shoulder – have I laid it on thick enough?)

The point of me wanging on AGAIN about this bloody injury is that I have learnt two very important things. Multi-tasking is a bad idea and that I should admit when I am in pain and accept help. I am definitely the ‘warrior’ type of woman who tries to do everything and anything. Do you know one? Are you one? I will carry on working and doing even if I’m proper ill as I will convince myself I’m not actually ill. And when I am doing a million things at once, nothing gets done properly. Ever.

So I have let Mr VividWire look after me and told him that it does in fact really hurt, because the realisation that now I am self-employed and that I can’t rely on said government to pay my wages, means I have to look after myself even more. What a bloody breath of fresh air! And the whole bloody reason I fell over was because I was multi-tasking; cleaning the carpets with my son on my back in a carrier as he was simply getting in the god damn way of the first flurry of eagerness to clean my house I’ve had since probably May. Plus, I thought “what an excellent work out – aren’t I smart?” NO! You’re not Claire. You’re a div. Because you slipped and in great ‘warrior’ fashion, fell in such a way that you saved your baby (he didn’t even cry) and fucked the whole left side of your body up. DIV! Anyway, as you can imagine I am pretty frustrated. I have made it my mission to write every time I feel the urge to write and am currently typing with one hand. But that’s the ‘warrior’ in me (bloody div).

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